Child Education or Parent Education?
Most parents whine about the subject of child education. Expressions such as, “I cannot get them to obey me no matter what I do,” “he/she drives me crazy,” “he/she will absolutely not abide by the rules I set,” and “he/she constantly argues with me and defies me,” are expressions that have been used by nearly all parents. At a time when children need the decisiveness, rules, and authority of their parents, what happens to make the opposite situation arise? What is the first thing we do wrong as parents?
Parents are foundational models in the formation of their children’s personalities. Behaviors of children are largely dependent on their interaction with their parents. Consequently, parents must be skilled in their interactions with their children, because family education has a more important place, than the education received in school, in the behavior-changes and maturation of students.
We say, “School starts with the family, a child’s first educational institution is the family.” How are parents supposed to educate their children without receiving any type of education in the subjects of child development, child psychology, and child education?
Young individuals attend many schools until they get to marriage age, they take lessons, attend courses, and they say it is not enough and attend graduate school and prepare theses. Whereas, the same young individuals do not receive any education regarding marriage and parenting. They try to sustain their marriages and raise their children from what they have seen from their parents. They repeat the mistakes of their parents without realizing.
As a foundational view, pedagogues say, “Faulty educational practices lie at the root of all adult neuroses.” Because of this reason, the education of the family, the foundational educator of the childhood period, rises to prominence as a preventive measure. Though the child might be an only child and his/her education might be private, a common ground can be found in the education of the child through both families and teachers receiving pedagogical education. Otherwise, a clash of “falsehoods known to be true” will be experienced between the school and the family and both the education and the upbringing will transform into chaos. The stages, behavioral patterns, and sensitivities of the childhood and puberty periods, and the appropriate parental approaches to these are not known, various nightmares will certainly be experienced. Therefore, we place significance in the education of parents.
The goal of this education is to show parents what should and should not be done in the education of their children, with application. Afterwards, it is to ensure their understanding of what needs to be done and what kind of attitude needs to be adopted in order to become the effective parent the child needs. We must not forget that whoever is in control is the one in command. Let’s think for a bit, who is really in control in our homes?
This is an applied education program. Both the theory of this area will be explained in detail, with lots of examples, and the videos recorded by parents in their homes, regarding misbehavior by their children, will be evaluated during the lessons and solutions, about what needs to be done and how they should act, will be presented.
Let’s read through a situation assessment list that will show how much you attend to your children, as parents. Let’s see together where you are, as parents who participate in child education with us teachers, regarding this matter.
- Do you know your children, know that each one of them is different, and in which areas each of them is successful or unsuccessful?
- Do you think you are consistent with the rules you set for your children?
- Do you think you are able to fulfill the promises you make to your children?
- At times when you think you were unfair to your children, are you able to share this feeling with them?
- When you punish your children or see misconduct by them, do you listen to them before you punish them or blame them?
- Are you able to also criticize yourselves when you are criticizing your children?
- How often do you tell your children that you love them, that you value them, and that you trust them and are you able to reflect these feelings in your actions?
- Do you confer with your children regarding any topic about them?
- Are you able to help your children in expressing their feelings (about you or about other topics)?
- Are you able to make time for your children and listen to them about their day and about things they want to talk to you about?
- Do you know all of the friends with whom your children associate and, moreover, know their parents and keep in contact with them?
- Do you know where and with whom your children go to spend their free time?
- Children’s resistances to illnesses periodically decrease. Do you put them through medical examinations from time to time?
- Are you able to aid your children in their rest and regular sleep?
- Do you think you have been effective in your children’s development of regular and healthy eating habits?
- Do you go to school from time to time to get information about your children from their teachers?
- When you observe behavior from your children that deviates from their normal behavior, are you able to meet with their classroom teachers or psychological counselor?
- While expecting success from your children, are you able to provide an appropriate physical environment for them to study at home?
- When your children are unsuccessful in their studies, are you able to instill in them the idea that it can be fixed by studying?